• Wendy,

    I am a type 2 and a business owner.

    I have recently needed to overcome my desire to be a pleaser and a rescuer while taking steps to care for key business decisions. The conclusion I came to was that there is some point beyond which it hurts me and my business too much to stay in that place of pleasing and rescuing. At that point, I can overcome my need to be liked because the health of my business depends on it. I would like to learn how to make those decisions more quickly if needed. Thank you for the thought provoking post!

    August 26, 2012
    • Hi Becky,
      Sounds like you’ve made great progress stepping outside of your role as a People Pleaser. Nothing like a pain threshold to motivate a shift. Continue to focus on Type 2s underlying belief that they are unloveable or unworthy of love unless they play their role. Is it true? Is it really true?

      Moving beyond the role is tricky. Over time, we create co-dependencies with others who count on us to play our role and they, in turn play theirs. When you make a shift, it creates disequilibrium in your relationships. Some may leave. Others will have to shift in order to continue to be in relationship with you in a new way. Everyone has to deal with the discomfort of change and the transition to a “new normal.”

      If you go back to my book and read the section on role identity, and also the “how to make a shift” section in the Type 2 journey, this will offer some tools and insights to help you learn to make those decisions more quickly.

      So delighted you stopped by to comment, Becky!

      August 26, 2012

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