• Great post Wendy. Do you think this is related to why we feel so rushed all the time? In other words , is there a relationship between the feeling of being in a hurry and being disconnected?

    June 27, 2012
    • editor

      Thanks Greg! Good question. I imagine you have an opinion on this one so please weigh in. Could be a chicken and egg thing. When we are busy doing all of the things we think we have to do, we are often disconnected from ourselves because we are so focused on the doing. When we launch into “busy-ness” it is often a strategy (conscious or unconscious) to disconnect / escape from our inner self. Most of us distract ourselves from ourselves by staying on the go and numerous other ways we run away from ourselves. When we do that, we are mostly on autopilot and letting our subconscious run the show. Much to say on this topic, but I’ll stop here. So what is your experience?

      June 27, 2012
    • Zarah Edralin

      i remember this post when reading your comment greg and wendy’s response: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/30/the-busy-trap/?smid=tw-share.

      but from my own experience, just very recently i was jolted by a strong feeling of anxiety that seemed very familiar yet so distant. i have been unemployed for about 3 months and currently starting with my new job. i sent my mom an sms saying something like doing an errand after work, and all of a sudden just by typing the word “work” a flood of sadness swept through me which i knew i’ve been holding off since i resigned from my previous job. i have just been so consumed in finding work and probably, “subconsciously”, have been holding off all my negative emotions just to make sure i remain composed through the ordeal. so now that i have all these emotions flooding my inner self, i say “hey self, we don’t have time to deal with this. can’t you see i’m busy with the new job?” in the process of storing these emotions to some emotional cupboard inside me, i find out that i have numerous cupboards from the past still waiting to be opened and dealt with.

      so i’m happy and relieved that i have this venue to blurt this out and i hope wendy you can give me direction on how to unravel all these cupboards i have.

      thanks to becky robinson for sharing this site in twitter.

      July 17, 2012
      • editor

        Dear Zarah,
        You are quite wise to realize that you are storing difficult and perhaps “unwanted” feelings for some later date. You are also probably wise enough to know that if you don’t allow yourself time to experience these feelings, they will ultimately come back to bite you in the butt in one unexpected way or another. Your question about unpacking your many cupboards is a big one and I am not going to be able to do it justice in this venue. But I can give you a couple of tips.

        Maybe you are grieving the change–letting go of your job? Even when it is something we choose, there is a letting go with change that evokes feelings. Take time to appreciate what was, what you learned, how you grew, the people with whom you worked and connected …

        My wise aunt once said to me, “Wendy, the only way through, is through.” Once I turned to face my difficult and painful feelings and let them move through me, I was grateful. It helped me get through something rather than sweep it under the rug so that I would trip over them later. I find that putting my thoughts and feelings on paper by writing in a journal is really useful. This process helps me understand myself better. I don’t edit, I just let the pen flow, sometimes I draw pictures … just express yourself in whatever way you want.

        I hope this is helpful for you Zarah. I wish you much success in your new job and in life.
        My Best,

        July 17, 2012
    • Hi Greg, Went on holiday and realize I didn’t remember to respond to your comment upon my return. Yes, I do think there is a relationship between being in a hurry and disconnected–both from ourselves and others. Many of us run away from intimate contact with ourselves by distracting (rush, stay busy, mobile devices, drugs … ) and we run away from intimate contact with others. If we are constantly in a hurry and distracted and are rushing around, how can we be connected. Our thoughts are elsewhere, on the present/past or present/future.
      Just yesterday, I was talking with a gentleman from London who has been living in a small village on an island the Mediterranean for the past 12 years. “Andrew, how do you like living here?” Andrew didn’t miss a beat, “I was just back in London and I don’t know how I ever survived there. Everyone is running around like headless chickens and endlessly checking their mobile devices. It’s insane.”

      April 13, 2013
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